|| March 30, 2021 | Now Playing: "In the Meantime" by We Are King | 8:12pm PST ||
Sometimes words escape me...
Sometimes I just get lost in my own thoughts...
Sometimes I'm easily distracted...
So I made an executive decision that I kept to myself lol. In my initial thoughts of creating this space where I reach out and expose a lil bit of my brain to you, I just knew that I would have all the time I wanted to sit down and make this happen
Yea, that's what I thought too now that I'm sitting here having more than a couple weeks passed since my last entry (I swear sometimes my time is NOT my own)
But I digress... I guess I just wanted to take a moment to tell on myself... to air out that I too come up with lofty ideas with the best intentions on seeing them completely through... but then, life ya know. Life happens and all that that entails and the next thing you know it's been a few weeks and my words have failed to meet the screen... well at least in this specific forum
And then I realize that we all are probably guilty of putting a great deal of expectations on ourselves that no one asked for or was expecting. Like who said, "Dani, we need you to fully commit to this space of writing every week!"? Uhhh no one...
But here I was feeling a bit guilty for having not met a task that I set and no one requested... LMAO... honestly... the martyrdom of it all
Like what angst have I created unnecessarily? I tell you... I am so clear that it can be so easy to beat yourself for not having met your own overachieving moment... and in not meeting it, feeling bad for missing the mark!
Oof, I need to really quit it
I say all of this to say that sometimes, sometimes it's ok if you don't rise to an occasion... because sometimes, just sometimes that occasion is completely unwarranted. I had to excuse/forgive myself for even having the expectation in the first place
Things happen... life creeps up on you... hell, absolutely nothing may be going on and you just don't feel like expending that additional energy
AND THAT'S OK!!!
I didn't even need to "tell" on myself per se, but I thought perhaps someone might be able to relate to the things we place on ourselves... to our own detriment at times. Sit all of that down and give yourself permission to just be... without expectation... without disclaimers... without regret
I suppose this is more of a declaration than a telling... this space of sharing other bits of this large brain of mine (outside of the free labor I offer on IG lol)... this space... this place of my thoughts shared with all of you will be that of one when spirit moves me to speak... on Tuesdays... when the mood strikes
It's in extending grace to ourselves that we also give love to the world